Virtual Suck

Let me make it clear: I LOVE the Wii’s Virtual Console. Being able to play NES, SNES, N64, Genesis and Turbografx-16 games all on one box — with modern controllers and improved video output — is something that puts a little tickle in my pickle. Sure, I already have these systems, ready to be pulled from the dusty grip of closet-storage, but as any long-time gamer knows, having a slew of consoles hooked up and ready for action is a pain in the ass. Throw a three-and-a-half year-old toddler into the mix (who can’t keep her hands off of anything), and it’s ultimately more trouble than it’s worth. The Virtual Console promises to eliminate the need for keeping antiquated consoles around, and I’m totally down with that. (Especially since I long gave up the need for holding onto every little piece of console-related hardware and software that I’ve ever owned.)

So with that wang-suckery out of the way, what in THE HELL is going on with the titles that have been, and are going to be, added to the Virtual Console service? Granted, the non-Nintendo games have been pretty kick-ass (e.g., Gunstar Heroes — RAWK!), but the games Nintendo have been putting up are pretty lacking. Without a doubt, Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda are totally rad, but what about titles like Tennis, Pinball and Soccer? While all decent games for their time, none of them were especially fantastic and hardly worth the $5 cost to download to the Wii. I appreciate the inclusion of such titles for the sake of completeness, but c’mon, where are the NES and SNES Super Mario titles? The SNES and N64 Zelda games? One would think that these titles would have been given priority from the beginning, but instead, they seem to be put on the back burner. If Nintendo wants to keep raking in the big bucks from VC downloads (and I maintain that these ROMs are seriously overpriced), they’re going to have to give us fans the games we want — NOT tripe like the soon-to-be-available Urban Champion for Christ’s sake.

In all fairness, though, Super Mario Bros. (NES) is supposedly set to become available at the same time as Urban Champion, so that’s at least a little comforting. But, again…Urban Champion? C’mon, Nintendo! Who in the hell’s calling the shots on porting these shite titles?

Oh well, at least it may end up being free.

Fatsquatch Written by:

Professional nerd. Enemy of nonsense. Failed musician. Friend to the animals. Misanthrope. Jaded gamer.


  1. mega
    December 21, 2006

    I heard you will be able to download SMB on the 25th AND one of my FAV’S EVER Super Castlevania (YES!!!!!!) I am on it!

  2. December 21, 2006

    Right on. I have beat that game countless times over the years, and have never really tired of it. I’ll definitely be downloading this one on Xmas day.

  3. SZero013
    December 22, 2006

    I can understand the frustration, but I also understand Nintendo’s stance on this. Releasing many popular games at one time would probably cause havok on their servers with people downloading them all at one time, and would be the least profitable in terms of maintaining as many sales as possible out of this.

    Also, remember that XBLA wasn’t built in a day, or even a few months.

  4. December 22, 2006

    So, to keep the servers from getting hit hard, they need to put total shit games on the Virtual Console? C’mon man… Besides, aside from the N64 offerings, these ROMs aren’t bandwidth intensive AT ALL. (And truth be told, the N64 ROMS aren’t that bad either.)

    The way I see it, if they’re not going to put anything decent up, then they don’t need to put anything up at all. Proudly announcing the arrival of something like Urban Champion and then asking $5 for it is downright insulting, and I sincerely feel sorry for the unknowing gamer who blows their money on that game — thinking that it HAS to be good because it was one of the first VC titles. That person is going to feel really bad about that purchase.

  5. zfunk007
    December 24, 2006

    Perhaps they are banking on people that don’t know any better? Personally I agree with you Joey 110%. The games are over priced. NES games should be $1-2, Genesis, SNES $3-4 and N64 $5-6 or more. Most of these games you can get in the discount bin for $5 or less anyway.

    Another thing, I have all these games in ROM format on my PC anyway. Which I can play with the original controllers through USB adapters I bought for SNES, NES and Genesis. Not to mention I can also use S-Video from my PC video card to my TV. I’d still rather download some virtual console games and play them on my Wii, but at $5 bucks a pop it just isn’t worth it. They need to get smart like I-Tunes and make it more affordable. Or at LEAST charge less for sub-par games. Games like the Legend of Zelda can be $5, but games like Tennis and Soccer should be $1 or less.

    What I’m waiting for is something from Nintendo (or a hack) that will let you use the USB ports on the Wii for adapters to use the original SNES, NES and Genesis controllers, then I’ll download some games. It is possible:

    Why not have something like that for the Wii?

  6. December 24, 2006

    No love for the Wii’s Classic Controller? It’s pretty much a souped-up SNES controller, and I find it to be much better than all of the controllers it’s taking the place of for the Virtual Console.

    Thumbs way up, for me!

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